When Your Spouse Is Away
Throughout my 30+ year marriage to my husband, he has consistently been away for at least half of every month. So today's Tip on Motherhood feels near and dear to my heart! When Greg was a fighter pilot (talk about a "cool" job) in the Navy, there were times when he was gone for 6 months. Now he flies for FedEx and travels first class to some really cool remote places. On Wire Talk this week, we answered questions from those of you who also have spouses that travel frequently, and today I wanted to share a few tips for navigating this dynamic if it's something you've been struggling with.
Change Your Mindset
It is too easy to fall into the trap of feeling like YOU are doing all the work and your husband has the “cushy” life. Moms, that never ends well. Even if your husband does have a wonderful job, travels to exotic places, and eats out at fancy restaurants, try to resist falling into this way of thinking- It will bring you down. Think of your marriage like a team, it's going to take BOTH of you to make the family work. Families are like businesses in that way, you need the salesperson AND the admin person to make a company run successfully. Admin is never glamorous, but it’s essential. Being a mom is not glamorous, but it’s essential! YOU are doing a very important job within your family.
Keep Short Accounts
Give grace to your husband, re-entry is always hard! Always! We are all human and it's understandable that as moms, we want to throw our children to our husband and make them take their turn as soon as they walk through the door. But, that doesn’t build a loving marriage. Keep short accounts with your husband, and talk through your frustrations, weariness, and your thoughts that life isn’t fair. But, at the end, realize your husband may never truly understand your point of view, and that is okay. He doesn’t have to understand your world, I don’t understand how electricity works, but I love that it works. :) I personally had to stop making it my goal to get Greg to understand my world, and just accept my world, and move on. Whether Greg understands or not, I know my work is important and valuable to the family.
Have Sex ASAP
I’m sure you weren’t ready for that one, but it’s true. It is hard to stay mad at someone after having sex.