Teaching Our Kids to Reject Pornography
Whether we want to admit it or not, pornography is part of the world our children are growing up in today. Most young boys see pornography by age 8, and most of the time they are NOT looking for it! As Kristen Jenson shared with us on Wire Talk this week, our girls are not immune to pornography either and the industry is actually targeting them since historically speaking, they have been an “under served” population. Ugh!
We asked Kristen what age we should talk to our kids about pornography and she answered our question by asking, “at what age do your kids have access to the Internet?” Yikes. I know that’s pretty young in some of our households. YouTube, video games, and other sites that parents feel are safe for their kids are actually becoming places where kids are targeted by the industry. Kristen writes in her book Good Pictures, Bad Pictures that, “parents today are competing with the porn industry for influence over the sexual templates of their children.” Moms, we need to be brave enough to have this conversation early with our kids, so they can grow up with a God-centric view of their sexuality.
Here are my 3 take aways from our conversation with Kristen:
1. Talk about what pornography is early on with your children. Bring it up before it is a problem and give your kids an age-appropriate definition of pornography. If you don’t know what words to use, or how to start the conversation, the book Good Pictures, Bad Pictures is a great resource. Kristen reminded us that being able to name something gets your child using their thinking brain (this was so similar to the strategies Sissy Goff gave us to help our kids combat anxiety!) Naming something takes away its power in many ways.
2. Teach your child that looking at bad pictures will hurt them. Talk to them about how pornography tricks their brains into addiction and that it shows a false picture of sex.
3. Give them a plan:
For young kids (3-6), teach them to Turn, Run, and Tell Someone. That’s why they need a name for pornography so they have the vocabulary to tell you what they’ve seen!
For kids over age 6, teach them the CAN DO plan. When they see a bad picture they can:
Close my eyes.
Always tell a trusted adult.
Name it when I see it.
And whenever a bad picture pops into their mind (after they have been exposed) they can:
Distract myself.
Order my thinking brain to be the boss!
We are so grateful to author Kristen Jenson for sharing her wisdom on this topic with us. Enter our giveaway to win a copy of the most recent edition of Good Pictures, Bad Pictures.
(We are only able to ship book copies to mailing addresses within the United States.)